Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Oh, Loneliness

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Oh, Loneliness,
Old Buddy
Old Pal.
I am sorry to say that
it is not so good
to see you.

I was just bragging
the other day
but only to myself
that I am such a champ
at making friends
with you
(so easy for me to say
when you were
so far away)
but now you have moved closer
and even had the audacity 
to claim your squatting rights
just behind my belly button
with your swirling, 
quiet energy 
(want/desire/wish)
because, I think,
I wasn't paying attention
and I,
well, I slowly leaned in to the Other
and they slowly 
leaned away

from me.

Oh Loneliness
I would like to call you
Friend again,
I would,
but I think it would be easier
if one of us moved
to Buffalo
first. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Bring Me...

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Don’t try to entertain me;
I have no wish or need for
stories of your heroism
you think will impress me.
I am not looking for a hero
or a masked crusader, some figment of
your imagination who wears
a cape and silly little tights,
someone who thinks they can rescue me,
or that I want to be rescued.

Do not, I beg of you,
bring your most charming self
to me. 
No. 
Leave him somewhere else
because I don’t want him,
because I am done with
the Charmers of this world
with their smooth talk and busy
hands, their mouths full of lies
and promises they will not keep.

Bring me, instead, your broken open heart
and show me the scars,
the places where it’s healed over,
show me the moments your courage
was the only thing you had.
Bring me your longings and dreams and
tell me how you hope to meet them
in broad daylight or
in the dark of night,
whichever.

Bring me the music of your soul’s poetry,
show me how you dance when you are alone,
tell me the prayers you say in a whisper in case
someone is listening and they might come true.
Bring your whole self to me and all of your heart
(not a sliver or a half - all of it. Otherwise,
I don’t want it).

Hold my hand and tell me the truth,
tell me the truth, tell me the truth,
and lean into the energy between us
and rest. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Birthday Gifts

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What made my birthday particularly awesome? It’s the little things. 

 • Woken up by Muse’s “Madness” at 5:30 a.m. and hearing it again on the way to work 

• My baby sister texting me birthday wishes eight minutes later 
• My 17 year old son remembering what day it is without being prompted 
• A text from a best friend to tell me she was on the trail of resolving a long-standing problem 
 • Arriving to work to see lots of Facebook friends wishing me Happy Birthday 
• A gratitude-filled birthday wish and a poem from Ted 
• Texts and calls from friends and family 
• Beautiful flowers and gluten-free cookies from my boss and co-worker 
• Confirmation of my visit to Bridge OTW tomorrow 
• Day off tomorrow 
• My paycheck two days early because I belong to a credit union 
• Official acceptance onto the Lexington Housing Partnership Board 
• Plans for the weekend, including a kirtan and dancing 
• A text from my little brother 
• Birthday cake made by Chris and Lily (gluten-free) and dinner with all three of my sons 
• A card from my mom and two wonderful friends, one of whom is an incredible photographer 
• “I Won’t Give up” by Jason Miraz on the way home from work 
 • Two episodes of NCIS. Gibbs. Yeah. 

 The only downside was Lily’s upset at the end of the day, after her friend Lisa left. ☹


The thing is, most days are like this (minus the birthday wishes). Peaceful, loving, and happy.