Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Terminal

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The day I knew for sure 
I was going to die 
I lay myself down in the grass 
under a birch tree 
and watched the clouds 
drift across that color of sky 
that makes my throat ache. 

Oh, it's not that I discovered 
some terminal illness brewing inside 
some horror of a cancer 
I would conduct a losing battle with, no. 
 It was just this: 
Some day my life will end. 

I mean, it was just a moment 
of acceptance really, 
nothing dramatic or emotional 
just a willingness to let it in
to stop fighting this 
truer-than-anything reality 
that being human means 
being terminal and there is nothing
in the world 
I can do about it.

I would die 
and more importantly
I would not get to see and experience 
everything in the world 
I so deeply want 
to see and experience.




So I lay under the tree and 
felt the earth turn on its axis
just the two of us, the tree and I
hanging out on the grass 
out in the middle of space

out in the middle of nowhere special
out in the middle of the universe
or maybe on the outskirts of it
and watched the clouds
drift across the endless blue
of that amazingly beautiful sky
and let my heart break.